Dark Side of the Moon
by Literary Eden
Summary: "I'm sorry..." The bite was quick, and it was lethal. My head lolled back on my neck and I closed my eyes, hissing as the venom began to spread. Like a wildfire, it burned, and I sobbed his name. Bella/Edward
1. Chapter 1

Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter 1: Changing

By: Bespoken

Disclaimer: _I, Bespoken, do hereby state that I do not own, nor do I claim to own the rights to the Twilight Series. This story was written for enjoyment, and I am receiving no profit for it, nor was that ever my intention. Thank you._

_Italic text: _Thoughts and Memories

Line breaks: Change in POV between Bella and Edward

* * *

"Oh God…"

I ran my fingers back through my hair, tearing thought two days worth of tangles and dried blood. The burning behind my eyes had long since ravaged my vision, and now blind I lay staring up at the ceiling. The room around me was dark and musty, the air made stale by the absence of life and movement. Being a basement, the room rarely saw sunlight, and as a result it was beginning to mildew. However, despite the discomforting smell of the space, the room held one appealing quality; it was cold. And though the fire pumping through my veins nearly laid that comfort to rest, I could only imagine how unbearable the change would be if I were home in Phoenix.

The burning in my veins was as raw as it had been yesterday when Edward bit me, and now done spreading, his venom lay festering in my veins, burning away the remains of my blood and replacing it with more of itself. The pain was beyond anything I had ever felt before, and I had to keep reminding myself that this is what I wanted. I was constantly reassuring myself that two days ago I would have given anything to become a part of this family, and even now, regardless of the misery and solitude, I still felt the same.

From the moment I was bitten until now, I had been left alone. Edward was beyond furious about not being able to see me, but Carlisle had made the rules clear; for the first few days, I was to endure the change on my own.

A sharp sensation took root behind my eyes, stealing my thoughts and replacing them with flashes of torment. My nerves began to sear and I choked on a sob, biting down on my lower lip to keep from screaming. Carlisle said the pain would be the worst after the venom had fully circulated through my system and started coming back in contact with itself; I suddenly understood the realism of that statement.

The pain escalated and I cried out, lurching up from my position on the rickety cot beneath me and bending over. I put my head between my knees and gritted my teeth, but the pain was beyond my control. With a surge, the fire engulfed my body, and I became a fit of screams and flailing limbs.

The folding bed whined as I struggled against the spasms, desperately trying to keep a hold on my mentality and remain Bella. I kept hearing Edward's voice in my head, his beautiful voice crisp as he explained that the change would become the most vivid memory of my human life. The pain I felt now fiercely threatened to make that fact a very blatant reality, and I was frantically fighting to keep it from happening. As I seethed against the agony, I held tight to my first memory of Edward in the meadow. I remembered how the sun had glittered off his skin, a beautiful explosion of diamonds and wonder. I remembered the hitch in my breathing as I took in the sight for the first time, and I could almost taste the disbelief and awe of that day.

Another surge of anguish swept through me, knocking the memory loose and banishing it to the back of my mind. I shattered, writhing in the torture of flames and heat. In the midst of my hell, I must have tossed myself from the cot, as I landed with a hard 'thud' on the floor. The concrete scrapped against my bare arms and legs, and I rolled over onto my stomach, balling my hands into fists against the floor. I tried to push myself upright, my arms shaking with my weight, but I failed as the fire in my veins escalated and coiled through my spine. I collapsed against the ragged floor.

The concrete was cool against my lips as I sobbed brokenly from the pain, the taste of earth and cement seeping into my mouth. I could feel small grains dirt of collect on my lips, and though the irritation tempted me to wipe them away, I remained a slave to the burning in my system.

"Edward…"

My voice was hoarse in my ears, rubbed raw by screaming and venom. With a ragged cry, I pushed myself up onto my knees, a blaze of fire climbing down my arms and spreading through my hands. I hissed, twining my fingers in my hair and hunching over. I raked my fingers back over my scalp, and felt skin collect under my nails until I buried my eyes in my palms. I whimpered loudly, my ribs constricting with what felt like a force strong enough to break them. I felt strains of saliva stretch between my teeth as I cried, and I could only imagine the amount of grime that covered my cheeks. For a brief moment, I prayed for death. For release. But mostly, for Edward.

* * *

I sat firmly stationed on the floor, my back pressed hard against the basement door, my eyes unblinking and riveted to the far wall. I felt Carlisle's clemency for my caustic disposition, and sensed Esme's concern, but I didn't care. Bella's screams were made faint by the heavy door between us, but I could hear them. For my sake, I knew she was battling to keep quiet, but it was impossible for me not to detect her anguish.

__

'Why don't you come hunting with Emmett and I? I know you just – well – still, you should come.'

''No thank you, Rosalie.''

"Oh, Edward, come on. You can't just sit there and wait until she - "

"I said no, Rose."

There was a spark of annoyed anger and then, "Fine."

I felt her presence drain and was gladdened for the brief moment of solitude. My family seemed to be relentless in their obsession to remove me from my post. But I refused to leave Bella to suffer alone; I had learned that lesson well not long ago, and I was in no hurry to neglect it.

__

'She was only trying to help, Edward.'

I sent a reserved glare at my father, who was sitting patiently at the dinning room table, a book in his hands.

"Help isn't exactly the word _I _would use," I replied indignantly, finding, to my immense irritation, that my hostility was impossible to keep quiet. The next statement I made was a further result of that impracticability,

"You stayed with Esme, Rosalie, and I while we changed. Why is Bella any different?"

Carlisle didn't even spare me a glance_, 'Esme, Rosalie, and yourself were all near death when I changed you, Edward. I stayed to make sure you would live through the transformation.' _

"Bella is near death _now_."

Carlisle raised his head slowly. His eyes locking with mine, he saw my fury and frowned, _'It's not the same.'_

My eyes narrowed; despite the love I had for the man before me, I couldn't keep my anger from shifting to a potent rage, "I see no difference."

_'Edward,' He sighed aloud, closing his book, 'You'll be able to be with her soon. You saw Esme and Rosalie during their changes. For the first few days, they were completely different people. Violent. Spastic. I don't want you to see Bella that way, and she'll be happier knowing she never lashed out at you.'_

I said nothing; thought nothing. He wouldn't bend on this, not even for me. I had known that nothing I could say would change that, but I reviled it just the same. Lifting my head, I glanced at the clock; a quarter to twelve. I sighed, closing my eyes, and I felt my anger die, grief swelling in its place. I lifted my eyes to the dark night outside the dinning room window, and envied the sky. For where its sun would rise tomorrow, mine would be locked away.

* * *

I lay motionless on the floor, staring at the ceiling with an unseeing gaze and parted lips. The fire had moved to a vicious station behind my eyes, and the burning pain was hardly bearable. I silently marveled at my tolerance, though deep down I knew all too well that my restraint wouldn't last.

I bit my lip as the flames began to dance, seeping into the area behind my pupils. I closed my eyes tightly, exhaling loudly through my mouth. I could feel the venom as it leaked in from the corners of my eyes, slowly crawling over my irises. It almost seemed to sear the delicate tissue, burning like lemon juice or sulfur would, and then sharpening. The agony was excruciating and my teeth pierced through the thin skin of my lower lip. A thick liquid slowly began to drip into my mouth.

Sweet to the taste, the fluid was a surprising opposite to blood and dirt. Eerily familiar, the taste did not take long to identify, and I wept softly at the realization; I tasted like Edward.

That notion only captivated me for a moment before the blaze exploded into an inferno. Streams of what felt like molten rock crawled into the corners of my eyes, oozing through tear valves and down, into my face. Water misted on my lashes and I fought to keep from crying. Would this be the last time I ever shed a tear? The thought was quickly lost as a tide of lava soaked down into the veins around my jaw and finally seeped into my gums. The term 'sweet-tooth' whispered across my mind as my teeth began to ache, venom leaking though the soft flesh of my mouth and trickling down my throat.

A flame so hot that it almost seemed cold suddenly shot through my chest and I wheezed, sitting up. It spread as a wildfire would, scorching and searing until my lungs burned themselves. I took a breath in and choked on the air, sputtering and coughing until my throat ached. Again, I tried. And again, I was unable to breathe. The sensation of suffocation was brutal, and I was briefly reminded of the day that I took my first cliff dive. I felt the cold water thrash against my body, fill my lungs, and I heard the urgency of Edward's voice.

__

'Don't you dare give up!'

I wrapped my hands around my throat, wheezing and willing air into my lungs.

A thick lining of mucus slowly began to stretch between the walls of my throat, and as I coughed, it seemed to thicken, slowly creeping down my windpipe. The feeling triggered my gag reflex and I dry heaved, my stomach constricting up against my ribs. When nothing came up, I retched again, and I shook from the force of its failure. Silenced, cries remained lodged in my throat, the air in my lungs stale and spent.

Would I suffocate to death before I changed? Would I see Edward again? What if I didn't? What if I died and went to hell just for _attempting _to become a vampire? My ears buzzed from what I imagined was bloodloss, my mind hazy as I questioned my ever-approaching fate.

Putridly sweet, the venom spread, lavishing the back of my tongue and teasing it with its remarkable taste. I briefly wondered if this was what death tasted like… but I pushed the thought away.

My lungs began to heave and I gagged, hunching over my legs and burying my face between my knees. My body convulsed, shaking and huffing in attempt to expel the mucus and open my flaming lungs.

I lifted my head and felt my eyes settle on where I knew the basement door stood. Edward… I was going to die without him… I was going to die alone. I was going to spend the last moments of my life in a dark basement, with only the sounds of dripping pipes and the cling of dampness as comforts. The idea of death had never seemed as horrid as it did now; now when there was no longer the promise of tomorrow.

My chest abruptly combusted into an inferno of flames and I opened my mouth to scream. Silence. The fire spread, burning through my organs. My chest lurched and I threw my head back, falling backward against the floor.

My heart thudded violently in my chest, speeding and slowing. It beat against my rib cage, violent and hard, without regard for self-injury. A rush of panic spread through me and I clasped a hand over my heart, trying to sooth the frenzied organ. It was mutinous against my fingers, raging and pounding until suddenly, it stopped, and the flames hurled back up through my throat.

The venom instantly parted and I heard my rasping voice fill the room. My pain echoed off the walls, deafening in the stillness, and I slumped onto my side, breathing deeply. I couldn't remember the last time I had been so thankful for the air around me. Musty and stale, it satiated me, and I exhaled.

But, as I emptied my lungs and endured that short expanse of time between asphyxiation and sanctuary, my lungs did not ache. Biting my lip, I refused to breathe in.

Nothing. No panic, no pain, no need… I laid utterly bemused. The burning had returned to my bloodstream, and I felt its heat as it circled in my system. Slowly, I rolled onto my back, my lungs empty and my mind swollen, "So this," I breathed, "is change."

* * *

I sat rigidly poised against the door, one fist buried in the wooden floor by my side. Closing my eyes, I fought the urge to shatter the door behind me and take Bella in my arms. Her screams still echoed in my ears, and it was all I could manage to keep myself from crying out as well. Torture was no longer a word proficient enough to describe what I currently felt, nor was Hell. My feelings were beyond explanation.

The voices of my family's thoughts buzzed in my head, a welcome relief. But I refused to hear anything but Bella's anguish. If she had to suffer, then I would suffer as well. She would not be left alone.

"Edward."

"Not now, Alice." I realized the brutality in my tone was beyond what she deserved, but I was having a hard time compelling myself to care.

"Oh come on, this is ridiculous."

I opened an eye to glare at her, "You would have done the same for Jasper."

Her face softened with sorrow, "I know, and I know it's not different but… Edward, you can't sit here and ruin yourself like this. Bella wouldn't want it."

"There's a lot of things Bella doesn't want that I don't agree with," I muttered.

"Like her humanity." Alice stated with a sigh. I growled a warning, but she refused to retreat, "Edward, I thought you talked about this."

"Talking doesn't change anything. You know that, Alice."

"It was her decision to make, Edward."

"I know, and I respect that. However, it didn't help that you were constantly tempting her to one side, Alice."

The strain that stretch between us and tainted the atmosphere told me that Alice was hurt, but my lack of empathy kept me from apologizing.

"You need her, Edward," She whispered, "I wasn't going to just sit back and watch your pride take her from you."

I looked away and she left without a word. I closed my eyes against my guilt and prayed for the change to complete itself, so this madness would end and my sun would return.

* * *

If I hadn't known better, I'd say the fire was dying. Unable to sleep, I laid immobile, waiting for my nightmare to end. The burning behind my eyes had returned once again, but this time, I found myself indifferent to the pain. I simply refused to acknowledge it. Venom seeped from my eyes like heavy tears, rolling over my cheeks and drying to my face. I closed my eyes and pressed light fingers against the wound on my neck. It was closing. What was once a crevasse of teeth punctures and open flesh, was now a seam of minimal pain. I remembered what Carlisle had said about the venom healing my body and I closed my eyes.

Upstairs was as silent as a graveyard and I shivered at the likeness. I laid my palm over my heart, and upon feeling no beat, I dropped my hand to the floor. '_Death comes when the heart stops.'_

A sudden shock pulsed through my eyes and I sat up. Pain erupted through the vessels, and I cried out, burying my eyes in my hands. Flames engulfed my lids and I tilted my head back, my hands falling into my lap. Hissing, I opened my eyes and felt venom fill the brims. Thick and dark, it blurred my vision and I wiped it away. I blinked quickly, brushing the remains away, and stared down at my hands. I was oblivious for a moment, and then I suddenly realized… my vision. I glanced down at my hands and gasped softly. The pale color of my skin greeted me, along with the delicate lined that defined my knuckles. I could see…

Two days of blindness had resigned me to expect a lifetime without vision. The sight of my hands alone was enough to make me cry. I felt the familiar ache of tears as it swelled behind my eyes, but my vision never blurred and the tears never came.

* * *

_Well...that was interesting, huh? I know it was really long and slightly repetative, but I felt that the change most likely would be, considering the pain. Anyways, I've never written for Twilight before, this is my first time. So... some reviews would be nice._

**_ALSO!_**

_For any of you readers who happen to be Beta's as well. HIT ME UP! I really want one for this story... so yeah. Let me know if you're interested. Sincerely, Be._

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter 2: Life After Death

By: Bespoken

Disclaimer: _I, Bespoken, do hereby state that I do not own, nor do I claim to own the rights to the Twilight Series. This story was written for enjoyment, and I am receiving no profit for it, nor was that ever my intention. Thank you._

_Italic text: _Thoughts and Memories

Line breaks: Change in POV between Bella and Edward

...

To all of my Reviewers... God Bless and Thank You Immensely.

Special Thanks to:

Myf.13 - Girl, I don't know how you possibly found the time or the effort to type so much for one silly little chapter, but I cannot express my gratitude.

Jayeliwood - For being my first reviewer and the person brave enough to first step foot inside my fiction. Your courage will never be forgotten.

Rosette-Cullen - For being amazingly wonderful.

Emma Hardy - For her kind words about my description. (hey... does the hardy part in your name have anything to do with Jeff Hardy from WWE? Just wondering, huge fan you see.)

And last but not least, Angels.Lust - For the hilarious flattery.

* * *

"Bella…"

I couldn't remember dazing off, nor could I recall the exact time the pain had started to recede, but now as the thick clouds of unconsciousness began to lift I was suddenly warmed with rapture; the pain was dying. I swallowed away the dryness in my throat, trying to ignore the unpleasant simmering of the remains of my dying inferno. As I shifted my weight on the cot, I felt a familiar stiff coldness brush against my heated skin, and I broke through the remainder of my haze with urgency. My breath caught in my throat as I reached out my hand, and I nearly whimpered as my palm pressed against his cool, marble cheek.

"Edward…"

"Bella," His voice was weak with relief, "you're almost done."

Though I searched for him, he was lost in the darkness around me. Confused, I wondered why I couldn't see him. I was almost certain my vision had come back.

"Bella, can you hear me?"

I assured him that I could, but my voice was so hoarse and quiet that I wasn't completely convinced he could hear me. I felt a set of cold fingers run over my forehead and I reveled in the feeling, my hot skin sighing against the coolness of his touch.

"I can still feel it," I whispered. The smoldering coals of my dying fire were still feirce, the flames lapping at me from the inside, burning despite their lower temperature; I desperately tried to ignore them.

"I know, Bella, …but it's passing. You just have to hold on a little longer," there was agony in his beautiful voice and I felt my quiescent heart shatter. Maybe I shouldn't have gone through with this…

"You're upset," I concluded softly, "That I changed, that I'm not human anymore."

I felt his fingers trail down the side of my neck, coming to a pause as they brushed over what remained of his bite. He was silent, and I wished I could see him.

"I'm not upset with _you_, Bella."

"You shouldn't be upset with yourself, either."

He said nothing, and my lack of vision was suddenly immensely irritating. I couldn't tell what he was thinking if I couldn't see him.

"Why can't I see?"

I heard him chuckle, the sound displacing some of the gloom, "There's a cold rag over your eyes. It helps ease the heat."

Ease or not, I'd have faced the fires of hell all over again to see him at that moment, and with a frown, I tugged the rag away. His perfect face stared down at me and the sight lit up the darkness. But, despite the small smile on his lips, there was pain in his eyes.

"Edward. Don't."

He met my gaze, and even in the pale lighting, I noticed their burgundy hue. He closed them, sighing,

"Bella, you have no idea how repulsive I feel…"

He was wrong. I'd known about his selfcontempt since the moment his teeth had pierced my skin. I shook my head, "I wanted this, Edward. I want to be with you."

"You would have been with me either way, Bella," His voice was gentle, sad, and I closed my eyes.

"I would have gotten old. I would have died."

"I would have followed."

"Edward," I sighed and looked up at him, pressing my fingers to his cheek. He faltered at their touch, and if I had been able to cry, I would have.

"They're cold…" He whispered, and I drew back my hand.

He caught my fingers in his own, his eyes intense in the darkness, "I'm sorry," he whispered, his fingers tightening around mine, "It's just… it's going to take some getting used to."

I nodded, lifting my other hand and placing it over his. He released my fingers and brushed his knuckles lightly across my cheek, staring at me in such a silent, sad way that my heart nearly broke…

"I love you," he said softly, his gaze settled just below mine. I sighed and leaned up, placing my hand on his cheek. He turned his eyes to mine and I smiled, the corners of my mouth quivering in the bittersweet happiness I felt,

"I know," I searched his eyes for a long moment before he closed them. Before I could blink, his arms were around me, and his face was buried in the crook of my neck. The embrace was tighter than anything I had ever experienced, and I found myself vaguely wondering if the force of it would have crushed me had I still been human. I pressed my lips against the side of his neck and wound my arms around his shoulders,

"I love you too."

* * *

It was amazing, being able to hold her like this. Unable to hurt her, unafraid I might shatter her. The feeling was beyond liberating and I tightened the embrace, pressing her tightly against my chest. I heard her gasp a laugh and I smiled, inhaling deeply.

She still smelled like Bella, only her scent was cooler somehow, almost otherworldly. The smell of her blood was still there as well; however, it held far less appeal now that it was dead and remained only in her tissues.

Despite the elating freedoms her new state of being gave, there was still the nagging reminder that I had banished her to a world of darkness. I frowned and leaned back. She stared up at me with questioning eyes, and I knew she was afraid I was rejecting her. But it wasn't her who I was angry with…

It made no difference to me if she was flesh and blood, or venom and granite. It didn't matter if she was warm against my fingers or cold. I would miss the brown color of her eyes, but I could live with gold just as easily as if they had never changed. The blush in her cheeks was gone as well, just like the beat of her heart. Both of these things I would miss more then any of the others, but I would be able to settle for her either way. Dead or alive, it didn't matter. …It wasn't her who I would have a hard time living with. It was I.

She didn't realize it now, but someday she would regret her decision. She was too young to comprehend exactly what she had given up. Even my Bella, who was so much more wise than an average teenage kid, did not yet understand the complexity of her decision… and her sacrifice. But someday… she would, of this I was positive. And I could only pray that when that day came, she wouldn't blame me then as much as I blamed myself now.

I tangled my hands in her hair and ran my thumbs over her cheekbones, remembering the way the skin beneath my fingers used to flush when she was angry or embarrassed. I sighed and smiled as she laid a hand over my heart, but my guilt surged. My Bella. My perfect, beautiful Bella. I had made her a monster.

* * *

I watched him as he drifted in and out of thought, a muse of emotion and concern. I tried my best to distract him, but he was too distracted with me to be distracted by me. He lifted a lock of my hair and studied it, lifted a hand, my chin. He considered my eyes, my lips, my skin. I nearly felt as though I'd been thrown beneath a microscope, a cell left for the entire world to review and critique.

"Edward."

His eyes settled on me, and I licked my lips, "I think it's over."

His eyes narrowed and he turned his head, examining the side of my neck by running a finger over the wounded area. I felt no friction beneath his touch, and when his eyes met mine once again, I was certain the fire had died. He nodded, and I let out a weak laugh. I was done.

* * *

_Ok, So I know it was short. Forgivness, folks, forgivness. Have you ever simply shut down after a while... like... Train's running, running, running... running... stop. Well, that's what happened to my train of thought with this chapter. Anyways, I hope that it was still mildly enjoyable despite it's shortness. I'll have another chapter up soon. Scouts honnor._


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